SACRAMENTO — After a year away from the NBA, Ben Simmons finally had a new team, a promising preseason, and something dangerously close to positive publicity. On Sunday, he tore his right Achilles at Kings practice, and the basketball gods reportedly marked his comeback application “DENIED.”
The injury occurred during a live drill, was confirmed by MRI, and will require surgery. It is expected to end his season before Sacramento’s opener against the Clippers.
Two days earlier, Simmons had recorded 14 points, eight rebounds, and seven assists against San Antonio. He was attacking the rim and reminding people why the former No. 1 pick became a three-time All-Star.
This apparently triggered an emergency meeting upstairs.
“We saw him smile during preseason,” said a completely fictional representative of the Basketball Gods. “Then he made five field goals. Our department was never notified he’d been cleared for sustained happiness.”
The Kings reportedly appealed, arguing the franchise already has an extremely generous subscription to basketball misery and shouldn’t be charged for Simmons separately.
The appeal was rejected because Sacramento had recently experienced “an unreasonable amount of hope.”
For Simmons, who battled back problems and sat out last season, the setback is genuinely brutal. He signed a one-year deal with the Kings to show his story wasn’t finished.
And it still isn’t.
In a final fictional ruling, the basketball gods admired his determination but demanded another full rehabilitation before considering whether to let him enjoy basketball again.
Simmons finally found an open lane to a fresh start. The universe took the charge.
