TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
Pacers Bring James Johnson Back to Training Camp Just in Case Basketball Argument Gets Out of Hand
Indiana adds veteran leadership and a very convincing reason for every practice disagreement to end peacefully.
REFBALL
Where contact becomes a philosophy seminar.
MARGINAL CONTACT
Officials Begin Preseason Debate Over Whether Standing Near Shai Gilgeous-Alexander Counts As Marginal Contact
Referees are working out how close a defender may stand before everyone starts looking at the whistle.
WHISTLE BUSINESS
Referee Training Camp Includes New Drill Where 12 Players Yell At You Simultaneously
Officials practice the most realistic situation in basketball: making one call and immediately explaining it to everybody at once.
REF LOGIC
NBA Rule Committee Spends Four Hours Defining “Marginal,” Ends Meeting With “You Know It When You See It”
After four hours, dozens of clips and several cups of coffee, the league produces the clearest standard possible: vibes.
FREE THROW MERCHANTS
NBA Announces New Flopping Test Requiring Player To Remain Airborne At Least Three Seconds After Contact
The league hopes measurable hang time will finally distinguish embellishment from ordinary theatrical suffering.
FREE THROW MERCHANTS
Guard Successfully Draws Foul From Defender Standing In Different Zip Code
Officials determined the defender’s general defensive intent created sufficient contact in spirit.
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
Referee Issues Technical Foul After Player Looks At Him With “Unnecessary Understanding Of What Just Happened”
The league says players may disagree with calls but should avoid appearing too certain about why.
REPLAY HELL
NBA Replay Center Confirms 14-Minute Review Successfully Determined Call Was Still Kind Of Unclear
Officials examined nine camera angles before reaching the same emotional state as everyone watching live.
FREE THROW MERCHANTS
Star Scores 38 Points On Six Made Field Goals, Insists “Buckets Are Buckets”
The stat line included 24 free throws, six field goals, and one extremely productive relationship with the whistle.
MARGINAL CONTACT
League Defines Marginal Contact As Whatever Happened On The Possession You’re Currently Angry About
A new clarification finally gives fans a consistent framework for remaining furious.