CAMBRIDGE — Basketball researchers unveiled a new advanced metric Wednesday that finally confirms the player you already liked is, in fact, extremely good.
“This is the breakthrough everyone was waiting for,” said one analyst. “The number validates your eye test, your group chat, and several arguments you refused to abandon.”
The formula combines efficiency, lineup impact, shot quality, playmaking, defense, role difficulty, and a proprietary adjustment for how annoyed you become when someone ranks the player too low.
Early testing showed strong acceptance among fans whose preferred players scored well and immediate methodological concerns among everyone else.
Researchers noted that no single metric can capture basketball perfectly, though this one becomes considerably more trustworthy when highlighted in a screenshot without context.
The model will be updated throughout the season, especially if results begin favoring a player you dislike.
Peer review is expected to consist largely of quote-tweets saying “finally someone gets it.”
