DETROIT — The Pistons have reportedly offered Jalen Duren a five-year, $200 million contract, only for the young center to respond by essentially asking whether Detroit had checked the couch cushions.
According to sources, Duren has continued declining the offer despite the Pistons presenting him with what economists technically classify as one-fifth of a billion dollars.
Detroit officials reportedly spent several minutes staring at the number.
“Two hundred million,” one fictional executive repeated. “There are nine digits.”
Duren remained unmoved.
The 22-year-old center has emerged as one of Detroit’s most important young players, putting the organization in the unusual position of trying to convince someone that $40 million per season represents a reasonable starting point.
Negotiations have now reached the stage where every additional dollar sounds fake.
The Pistons reportedly tried saying the offer slowly.
Two. Hundred. Million. Dollars.
Duren’s representatives asked whether that included incentives.
Detroit then turned the calculator off.
For now, the table still appears to have room.
