SEATTLE — After spending 18 years waiting for the NBA to return, Seattle learned this week that its application may be missing one crucial requirement: an extra few billion dollars.
According to ESPN, commissioner Adam Silver left team owners with the impression that a Seattle expansion franchise is no longer guaranteed. Las Vegas remains a priority, while Mexico City has entered the conversation with an ambitious arena proposal.
For Seattle fans, the message was devastating: your basketball nostalgia is very important to us, but have you considered being richer?
“Have the fans tried simply becoming billionaires?” Silver reportedly asked in an entirely fictional meeting. “Maybe sell some coffee. Or the Space Needle.”
Seattle hasn't hosted an NBA team since 2008, when the SuperSonics relocated to Oklahoma City. Since then, fans have preserved the team's legacy, watched Kevin Durant become a superstar elsewhere, and developed trust issues normally associated with an unprotected first-round pick.
Meanwhile, prospective expansion bids in Las Vegas could reportedly exceed $10 billion, suggesting the NBA's preferred ownership qualification is now possessing the GDP of a small country.
In a fictional presentation, Seattle supporters highlighted their passionate fanbase, modern arena, and decades of basketball history.
League executives reportedly circled the word “passion” and asked whether it could be converted into cash.
Mexico City, meanwhile, has apparently discovered that getting an NBA team requires less historical connection to the league and more impressive PowerPoint slides about real estate development.
Seattle remains in contention, and no final expansion decision has been announced.
The NBA took Seattle's team in 2008. Eighteen years later, it's considering selling the city another one.
