SAN ANTONIO — The Spurs organization announced Tuesday that an offseason team-bonding trip to France hosted by Victor Wembanyama had produced unexpected results after every player returned approximately three inches taller.
Team officials first became suspicious when several guards began hitting their heads on doorframes at the practice facility.
“We thought maybe the measuring equipment was broken,” Spurs coach Mitch Johnson said. “Then Chris Paul walked in looking like a power forward.”
According to players, the trip consisted primarily of sightseeing, team dinners, light workouts, and approximately six hours per day standing near Wembanyama.
Scientists have not yet determined whether prolonged exposure to the 7-foot-4 French star can cause rapid skeletal growth.
“It might be environmental,” one researcher said. “France has cheese, good bread, and Victor Wembanyama. There are still many variables.”
By the end of the week, San Antonio’s shortest player reportedly measured 6-foot-8, while several forwards were forced to practice outdoors after becoming too tall for the facility.
NBA commissioner Adam Silver said the league was monitoring the situation closely but acknowledged there is currently no rule preventing an entire roster from becoming enormous.
Wembanyama dismissed the controversy.
“I showed them Paris,” he said. “Maybe Paris showed them their potential.”
The Spurs have reportedly already booked next summer’s trip, though the NBA has asked the team to stay at least 500 feet away from the Eiffel Tower in case it also starts growing.
