BROOKLYN — Julius Randle reportedly discovered his true role with the Nets during a recent team golf outing, when several younger teammates began causing enough chaos for him to realize he had somehow become the responsible adult.
‘Man, these guys really are just a bunch of kids,’ Randle said after watching the group turn a quiet afternoon of golf into something closer to a field trip without permission slips.
Sources say the realization hit Randle sometime between the third abandoned golf cart, the first unnecessary sprint across a fairway and a teammate asking whether anyone had brought snacks.
Randle had joined Brooklyn expecting to provide scoring, rebounding and veteran leadership.
He did not realize veteran leadership would include reminding people to stay out of the sand traps.
The Nets’ young roster reportedly spent much of the outing laughing, racing carts and treating golf etiquette as a loose collection of historical suggestions.
Randle watched silently.
Then sighed in a way only experienced parents can.
By the back nine, he had allegedly begun counting heads before leaving each hole.
Team officials were thrilled with the development.
‘Every rebuild needs veterans,’ one fictional Nets staffer said. ‘Apparently this one also needs a chaperone.’
Randle later clarified that he enjoys the energy of his younger teammates and believes their personality is a strength.
He simply understands the hierarchy now.
Brooklyn has prospects.
Brooklyn has draft picks.
Brooklyn has a future.
And Julius Randle has somehow become the guy asking everyone to please put the golf cart back where they found it.
