The NBA’s expansion conversation is reportedly gaining momentum, prompting Seattle basketball fans to immediately begin criticizing the coaching decisions of a team that has not been created.
With the city frequently mentioned as a potential home for a future franchise, local supporters have wasted no time preparing for professional basketball’s return by questioning hypothetical rotations, imaginary trades and the minutes distribution of several players who currently do not exist.
“You cannot keep our future backup point guard on the bench that long,” one fan posted online. “This organization never learns.”
Seattle residents have also begun debating whether the unnamed team should rebuild, contend immediately or fire its first general manager before he is hired.
Early mock expansion drafts are already being treated with the seriousness normally reserved for constitutional amendments.
One proposed roster was described as “completely unserious” despite being assembled by a person sitting on a couch using players who had not been made available.
The city is also preparing for the return of several important NBA traditions, including overpriced parking, late-game officiating complaints and explaining to younger fans why everyone is still angry about 2008.
League officials have not announced a team, roster, coach, schedule or even a definitive expansion date.
Fortunately, Seattle already knows exactly what all of them are doing wrong.
