The Minnesota Timberwolves reportedly began packing for the Eastern Conference immediately after hearing it mentioned as a possibility during NBA expansion discussions.
League officials had barely finished saying the words “conference realignment” before Minnesota staff members were seen carrying boxes toward the team facility parking lot.
“We heard East,” one employee said. “That was enough.”
The Timberwolves have spent years traveling through a Western Conference geography lesson that routinely sends them enormous distances to play teams located considerably farther west.
A potential move East would suddenly place Minnesota alongside opponents that, in several cases, can be reached without crossing half the continental United States.
Players are reportedly still adjusting to the concept.
One team source described the possibility of shorter travel as “deeply suspicious.”
Minnesota fans have already begun studying Eastern Conference rivalries and practicing arguments against teams they have not yet developed strong feelings about.
Several supporters reportedly spent the afternoon deciding which Atlantic Division fanbase they would eventually dislike most.
The league has made no final decision, and conference realignment would depend on how expansion ultimately takes shape.
Minnesota, however, is taking no chances.
The team has reportedly changed its clocks to Eastern Time, purchased several maps of the East Coast and begun referring to Milwaukee as “basically next door.”
At press time, the Timberwolves were asking whether they could leave tonight.
