NBA fans have officially released their definitive 2026-27 power rankings despite the minor complication that nobody has played basketball yet.
The rankings, which are already being defended with extreme confidence, reportedly account for offseason transactions, roster fit, vibes, one workout video and several completely imaginary future developments.
“This team is obviously top four,” one fan explained. “I don’t know how you can watch zero games and come to any other conclusion.”
Across the internet, supporters are currently evaluating championship contenders based on depth charts, press conference quotes and whether newly acquired players looked happy in introductory photos.
Several teams have already been declared fraudulent.
Others have been labeled “scary” after signing a seventh man.
One franchise jumped six spots because a player posted a photo from the gym.
Another dropped four places after someone noticed its starting center recently turned 31.
Analysts have cautioned that training camp, injuries, chemistry and actual basketball could eventually affect the rankings.
Fans rejected this suggestion as unnecessarily complicated.
The current list is expected to remain definitive until preseason begins, at which point it will be completely rewritten after approximately eight minutes of exhibition basketball.
By opening night, every fanbase will once again agree on one thing:
The rankings are terrible unless their team is higher.
