SAN FRANCISCO — The Golden State Warriors briefly watched their entire season limp toward the locker room Sunday when Stephen Curry tweaked his right ankle during an open practice at Chase Center, sending fans into a panic normally reserved for Game 7 or an uncontested Draymond Green three-pointer.
Curry, 38, appeared to slip while making a move against De'Anthony Melton before leaving the court in discomfort. Initial fears centered on his troublesome right knee, but coach Steve Kerr later offered three words that temporarily saved the Bay Area from a collective nervous breakdown.
“He's fine.”
Unfortunately, Golden State has reached a point where those two words constitute approximately 80% of its championship strategy.
Curry missed 39 games last season, while Jimmy Butler continues recovering from a torn ACL and Kristaps Porziņģis remains sidelined with health concerns.
According to fictional team sources, the Warriors immediately reclassified Curry's right ankle as critical infrastructure, placing it alongside Chase Center's electrical grid and the organization's remaining championship hopes.
The medical staff reportedly recommended bubble wrap, armed security, and eliminating all activities involving unnecessary movement.
Kerr rejected the final suggestion after realizing it would also eliminate Golden State's entire offense.
Warriors officials are reportedly considering a new load-management system in which Curry plays basketball while his ankle receives scheduled rest periods.
The team opens its season Wednesday against the Lakers, with officials cautiously optimistic Curry will be available.
Golden State has 15 roster spots, a coaching staff, and a billion-dollar franchise. Apparently, the whole operation runs on one ankle.
