NEW YORK — The Philadelphia 76ers spent their offseason assembling a superteam featuring LeBron James, Jaylen Brown, and Joel Embiid, only to discover Tuesday that the best player on the floor was a guy they already had.
Tyrese Maxey scored 28 points, added five assists, three steals, and three blocks as Philadelphia defeated the defending champion Knicks 106–100, politely interrupting the most expensive jewelry exhibition in Madison Square Garden history.
New York had prepared an elaborate championship celebration, complete with diamond-covered rings featuring miniature versions of MSG, a banner ceremony, and enough production value to finance a small-market franchise.
Unfortunately, nobody budgeted for stopping Maxey.
"We spent months figuring out how LeBron and Jaylen would fit together," a fictional Sixers executive admitted. "Turns out the answer was letting Tyrese play basketball."
James contributed 14 points, nine rebounds, and seven assists, embracing a supporting role that mostly involved watching Maxey move at speeds normally reserved for emergency vehicles.
Brown added 19 points as Philadelphia showed promising chemistry despite occasionally looking like five All-Stars meeting at a pickup game.
The Sixers closed the third quarter on an 11–0 run, then survived New York's comeback attempts behind Maxey's late-game defensive heroics.
Knicks fans, who had paid record ticket prices to celebrate their championship, were reportedly informed that the actual basketball game was not included in the festivities' satisfaction guarantee.
Philadelphia still has 81 games to figure out its superstar hierarchy.
For now, LeBron is the legend, Embiid is the franchise cornerstone, Brown is the expensive new addition, and Maxey is apparently everybody's boss.
