NEW YORK — The NBA announced Thursday that an upcoming Clippers-Wizards matchup will tip off at 2:17 a.m. Eastern as part of a new initiative targeting the previously untapped insomniac demographic.
“We have spent years chasing international windows,” said one scheduling executive. “Meanwhile, millions of Americans are lying in bed staring at the ceiling with absolutely nothing to watch.”
League research found strong potential among night-shift workers, jet-lagged travelers, new parents, college students avoiding assignments, and people who accidentally drank cold brew at 9 p.m.
Players were informed that pregame warmups would begin shortly after midnight, while halftime entertainment will feature a guided breathing exercise and several reminders that tomorrow has already started.
The league believes unusual start times could create new inventory without interfering with existing national broadcasts, provided nobody expects athletes to know what day it is.
If successful, officials may test a 4:38 a.m. Sunday game marketed as “Breakfast Basketball For People Who Have Made Several Poor Decisions.”
The matchup is currently listed as questionable due to everyone involved being asleep.
