CHICAGO — Bulls officials reportedly became concerned this week after noticing a roster featuring Josh Giddey, Matas Buzelis, Nic Claxton, Norman Powell and several young prospects was beginning to look suspiciously interesting.
The discovery prompted an emergency meeting.
“We were prepared for development,” one fictional executive said. “Nobody mentioned the possibility of accidentally enjoying the basketball.”
Players and coaches were seen gathered around an Eastern Conference bracket attempting to determine whether Chicago’s latest rebuild could somehow result in meaningful games without first requiring another four years of asset accumulation.
Several staff members reportedly lit candles when somebody suggested the words “playoff race.”
The Bulls remain committed to patience, youth and absolutely refusing to define what success means until at least February.
Fans have been advised to remain calm if the team starts winning.
Chicago officials stressed that any optimism experienced before January should be considered unofficial.
