**PHILADELPHIA** — New York Knicks head coach Mike Brown has instructed his players to stop attempting home runs and start hitting singles, apparently concluding that the reigning NBA champions might have better luck playing baseball.
Following Friday's 98–93 loss to Philadelphia, Brown expressed frustration with New York's stagnant offense, excessive isolation plays, and 13 turnovers.
“We have to hit singles,” Brown explained, introducing a sport in which the Knicks might theoretically complete three consecutive passes without losing possession.
The defeat dropped New York to 2–4, just six games into a title defense that was originally expected to involve considerably more basketball terminology.
Brown criticized his players for constantly searching for spectacular individual plays while their teammates stood around watching, a strategy traditionally known as Knicks basketball before the invention of passing.
The team has reportedly begun reviewing baseball fundamentals, including patience at the plate, advancing runners, and understanding that four people standing motionless while one teammate does everything is generally considered poor offense in both sports.
Jalen Brunson was allegedly confused when instructed to take first base, insisting he had already beaten his defender.
Karl-Anthony Towns reportedly asked whether hitting a double would count as two assists.
Meanwhile, the Knicks' coaching staff remains concerned that the team could interpret Brown's instructions as permission to start swinging at opponents.
New York's next practice will reportedly focus on making the easy play, moving without the ball, and learning why a 35-foot contested three-pointer is not technically a grand slam.
Brown has not ruled out introducing football terminology if the Knicks fall to 2–5.
