FREE AGENCY ACTIVITIES

Meetings, cap space, mystery contenders and players suddenly discovering several lifelong dream destinations.

FREE AGENCY ACTIVITIES

Warriors Give Stephen Curry $116 Million to Continue Being Entire Organizational Plan

Golden State has secured two more years of its long-running strategy of having Stephen Curry and seeing what happens.

FREE AGENCY ACTIVITIES

Raptors Commit $115 Million to Kawhi After Determining Clippers Already Completed Background Check

Toronto reviewed the Clippers’ completed investigation files, nodded twice and decided there was no reason to do the same work again.

FREE AGENCY ACTIVITIES

Kawhi Leonard Returns To Toronto After Seven-Year Side Quest, Raptors Fans Agree None Of The Other Stuff Counts

Toronto has restored its preferred timeline: 2019 happened, then everyone took an unusually long commercial break.

FREE AGENCY ACTIVITIES

Team Signs Veteran To “Low-Risk Deal,” Fans Immediately Project Him As Missing Piece

The one-year contract has already been credited with solving shooting, defense, leadership, and playoff depth.

FREE AGENCY ACTIVITIES

Contender Signs Buyout Player, Internet Confirms League Is Officially Ruined For Approximately 36 Hours

The veteran averaged 7.4 points this season but is now considered an unacceptable competitive advantage.