**PHILADELPHIA** — LeBron James has apparently reached the stage of his NBA career where he can no longer finish a fast break without checking the wine list.
During Philadelphia's 126–107 win over Chicago on Monday, the 41-year-old superstar chased a pass behind the basket, collided with courtside fan Troy Clemons, spilled his drink, and then took a sip to assess the damage.
James later explained that he wanted to know whether the wine was worth what it had cost his arm.
“It was alright.”
After 24 seasons, four championships, and more points than anyone in NBA history, James had delivered the most consequential three-word restaurant review ever issued during live basketball.
The four-time MVP returned to the floor immediately, apparently satisfied that the vintage was acceptable but not worthy of a second tasting.
Philadelphia won its fourth straight game, improving to 7–1, while James finished with 15 points, nine assists, seven rebounds, and one unofficial courtside sommelier appearance.
League observers now expect his next evolution to involve asking the scorer's table which cheeses pair best with a 2–3 zone.
The wine's owner, however, declined to treat the encounter as the beginning of a priceless collectibles franchise.
Clemons told ESPN he'd simply thrown the cup away and gotten another drink.
Somewhere, a memorabilia collector reportedly collapsed at the thought of an authentic LeBron-used cup entering a Philadelphia trash can without authentication, grading, or an opening bid.
LeBron James had transformed a plastic cup into potential NBA history.
Troy Clemons just wanted another glass of wine.
