LOS ANGELES — The Portland Trail Blazers announced Friday night that their defensive game plan had worked almost perfectly after successfully limiting Luka Dončić to 53 points in a 124–118 loss to the Los Angeles Lakers.
“Our priority was making sure he didn't score 60,” explained an entirely fictional Portland assistant coach. “He didn't. That's excellent defense.”
The achievement required extraordinary discipline against a player who has now scored at least 40 points in four consecutive games.
Portland even forced Dončić into one of the most difficult shots imaginable: a desperation three-pointer from approximately 62 feet as the first half expired.
He made it.
Nevertheless, the Trail Blazers praised their positioning, noting that very few basketball players would consider shooting from the opposite side of the court an ideal offensive opportunity.
Dončić then scored 20 points in the third quarter, personally outscoring Portland's entire team, which managed 15.
Team officials reportedly viewed this as encouraging progress, since the Blazers had successfully prevented him from outscoring them by double digits.
Portland had also built a 16-point lead, briefly demonstrating that its strategy could work provided Dončić stopped participating in the game.
Unfortunately, he continued.
The Slovenian superstar finished with 53 points, five rebounds and five assists as Los Angeles secured its fourth consecutive victory.
Afterward, Portland's fictional defensive department highlighted several positives, including the fact that Dončić missed 16 field-goal attempts and was not awarded 100 points.
Management considers those numbers proof that he can be stopped.
At press time, the Trail Blazers were reportedly adjusting their next defensive objective to holding Dončić under 70.
