**INDIANAPOLIS** — The Indiana Pacers unveiled a bold new approach to roster construction Monday night, arriving for their game against Atlanta with six available players after discovering that NBA regulations technically only require five.
With 11 players unavailable, representing approximately 93% of the team's payroll, head coach Rick Carlisle found himself with five starters, one substitute, and absolutely no reason to own a rotation chart.
The organization reportedly considered bringing a seventh player but decided that would undermine its commitment to efficiency.
Indiana's entire bench consisted of Kobe Brown, who suddenly became the most important sixth man in basketball history simply by possessing functioning legs.
The remaining five players were informed that foul trouble was strongly discouraged and asking for a rest would be considered a lack of commitment.
Despite the circumstances, Indiana somehow nearly defeated Atlanta, cutting a 15-point deficit to two before eventually losing 108–104.
All six Pacers played at least 34 minutes, an achievement normally reserved for playoff superstars and people whose coworkers have all called in sick.
Braden Smith recorded 19 points and 10 assists, while Jay Huff added 22, suggesting that Indiana's expensive injured roster might be facing some uncomfortable questions.
Carlisle praised his players' effort while acknowledging that everyone had played too many minutes.
Team officials are reportedly evaluating whether the franchise could save millions by permanently eliminating the bench and replacing it with six folding chairs.
For now, Indiana remains committed to getting healthy.
The sixth player has reportedly requested backup.
