SAN ANTONIO — An NBA referee made a groundbreaking discovery Tuesday night when he realized Victor Wembanyama, in addition to being one of the world's most talented basketball players, could also be used for general arena maintenance.
The revelation came during San Antonio's 130–103 victory over Sacramento, when a basketball became stuck on top of the backboard during the third quarter.
Unable to retrieve it himself, the referee turned to Wembanyama.
"Hey, Wemby, help me out."
The 7-foot-4 Frenchman grabbed a floor mop, dislodged the ball, and returned to playing professional basketball, apparently unaware that he had just expanded his job description.
According to fictional NBA operations officials, Wembanyama's newly discovered abilities could save the league thousands of dollars in maintenance expenses.
"We've been paying people to climb ladders," one imaginary arena executive explained. "The entire time, we had Victor Wembanyama."
The Spurs have reportedly received several additional requests, including changing overhead light bulbs, adjusting shot clocks, retrieving objects stuck in the rafters, and inspecting the upper sections of the arena's ventilation system.
League officials are also exploring whether Wembanyama could straighten crooked backboards between possessions without requiring a timeout.
The 22-year-old finished Tuesday's game with 29 points, 10 rebounds and five blocks, although his successful equipment retrieval was inexplicably omitted from the official box score.
San Antonio insists its franchise centerpiece remains focused on basketball, but acknowledges that certain maintenance emergencies may require his immediate attention.
**At press time, the referee had reportedly approached Wembanyama again, asking if he could take a quick look at an air-conditioning unit before the fourth quarter.**
